Many marriages are fraught with self imposed challenges because we closed our eyes to all the red lights and warning signs. God has many ways with which he guides us. One primary way is the inner witness. One other way is through circumstances. There are some tell-tale signs that are warning signs that a particular relationship is symptomatic of more grave problems when you go ahead. God will not override your decisions or your choice, but if you let Him lead and guide you, and you honour Him, He will surely lead you.
You see, my dear, God will not impose His will on you! You have to cooperate with His will! If God can impose His will on us, then everybody should be born again! But life will always throw at you the good and the bad, the right and
the wrong. Then you make your decisions. But that is not all. Your decisions now have consequences. You invariably live with your decision!
That is the only way God can be a just God! But now, GOD has not left you destitute. He says before you make that decision, ask me. GOD can see the past, the present and the future at the same time. He knows the best person that will complement and complete your destiny. You see I can tell you as a pastor and marriage counselor for sixteen years, it is difficult to fulfill destiny and be fulfilled when you marry the wrong person!
The moment you see these signs, it is time to quit that relationship.
WHAT ARE THESE WARNING SIGNS?
1. When you are very sure that God is not involved.
No matter how much love you have for him or her, the moment you know God is not involved in your decision, it is not worth it. Marriage to a wrong person can alter the entire configuration of your destiny. If you go ahead without God, you are on your own.
Psa 127:1 CEV
Without the help of the LORD it is useless to build a home or to guard a city.
What about those who are already married and you feel you have married the wrong person? You have to stay there and call on God who can turn your mistakes into miracles and your mess into a message.
2. When trust is completely ruptured and both parties are deeply suspicious of each other. There is no way one will enjoy his life or marriage with everyday suspicion of each other. This mistrust will lead to constant quarrels and unnecessary reactions. This mistrust is a tool in the hand of the devil that he can use to manipulate and out rightly wreck homes. There will be instances of accusations, denials, and further hatred...these are wedges that drive apart couples. It can even lead into adultery in one's bid to get even on unconfirmed suspicions.
If you are already married, what do you do if mistrust is creeping in? The answer is communication. Talk, talk and talk. Do not internalize. Don't keep things away from your spouse. In fact, one major rule should be 'I will not do what I cannot discuss with my spouse. I must let my spouse know everything!" Does that sound impossible? Well, that is a key to a long lasting godly marriage!
3. When there is a major character fault. Nobody is perfect, but at the same time, it is dangerous to plunge into marriage with a habitual sinner, who keeps promising he would soon change. People don't really change after marriage. Nobody can talk to him or her, and you still blindly hold on? That is risky!
Most of the time, the reason you don't want to let go is because you have a low self esteem or you believe there may not be another person - a case of 'a known devil is better than an unknown angel.' But you see, you must learn to trust God and not just handle things your own way!
4. When your genotypes are incompatible, it is time to quit. You and I know why.
5. When either party is violent or your life is threatened, there is no point going into marriage. If someone is already threatening you or raising his hands against you in courtship, guess what will happen in marriage? If you are coping with slaps here and there in courtship, chances are that you will be beaten to a pulp after marriage. Don't go into marriage blindly with dual personalities, they will beat you black and blue one moment, and then next moment, are back with gifts to beg and to have sex! You are too dignified to go through that kind of harrowing experiences. That is not God's plan for you!
If you are already married, know that God hates divorce. You have a responsibility to protect, believe and pray that God will turn around your marriage for good. However if your life is no longer safe by reason of physical assault and abuse or your spouse is sexually irresponsible and unrepentant to the point where sexually transmitted diseases can be brought home anytime, then you need to start re-considering. On the television years back, I saw a show where ten women were interviewed. All of them were HIV positive. But they were all faithful to their husbands. All of them were infected by their husbands who had randy and careless sexual lives. Some have lost their hairs, some were already at an advanced stage, all because they were married to an irresponsible man!
So conclusively, I will say in the Nigerian slang, "Shine your eye!" Let God lead you, He will not lead you wrong!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I will not be confused. I have the light of God
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Talk to your mentor today about your relationship
Pastor Tunde Bamigboye - 0802381265
