FIVE REASONS WHY YOU MUST FORGIVE

 

If anyone had told you that forgiveness is easy, he didn’t tell the whole story. How could you forgive the man that raped you, or the student cultist that stabbed your only son to death? How could you forgive your co-worker who lied against you and made you lose your job? How do you forgive your husband when you finally catch him in bed with your best friend? How would you forgive your parents for abandoning you as a child? By grace, we can forgive all wrong.

Forgiveness is difficult, humanly speaking. It is easier to pray for your enemies to ‘fall and die’ than to forgive them. It is more gratifying to get revenge, to match fire with fire, than to let go. I wrestled for months before I could forgive a man who deeply wronged me several years ago. 

A woman asked me: “If I forgive my unfaithful and physically abusive fiancé, does it mean I should still marry him?” Answer: no. Forgive and run for your life.

Is it possible to forgive and forget? Sometimes you forget. Other times you won’t, and that’s not a problem. The human memory is not a blackboard that you could just wipe off with a duster. However, forgiveness does mean that you have completely and unconditionally released the person that wronged you and that that even when you remember, the incident no longer triggers the hurt and pain it used to. The hurt and bitterness are gone.

Here are five reasons why you must forgive:

 

(1) Bitterness destroys you, not the other person. Nursing a grudge in your heart is like carrying acid. Modern medical research has shown strong correlation between certain diseases like ulcer and cancer with the emotion of anger, hate and bitterness. An acidic mind produces a sick body. The person against whom you are bitter might be sleeping soundly in his house, but there you are turning and churning in your bed, unable to sleep. It is definitely in your self interest to pour away the acid from your heart before it consumes you.

 

(2) Bitterness sabotages your success. In the mid eighties, a young woman bitterly insulted her mother, creating deep acrimony between them. She got married and became pregnant. When her time of her delivery arrived, she was in distressful labor for three days, and surgery was not an option at that point. Their neighbors pleaded with her mother to go see her at the hospital. At first, she refused, but mother being mother, later went. As mother stepped into the labor room, daughter cried, “Mother, I am sorry.” Within minutes she had her baby. Are you in a situation where nothing you do goes well? Check if you have deep-seated grudges in your heart against people. Unless you forgive, you cannot move forward.

 

(3) You might do something stupid. Just few weeks ago, a chief in a community in South East sent an SOS to the police for protection. He alleged that two other chiefs were after him because he disagreed with them regarding a political matter. Less than three days after, the old man was murdered in cold blood. A heart filled with bitterness is a breeding ground for snakes. You could kill. You could start visiting native doctors to prepare revenge for you, even though no one in your family ever visited native doctors. And once you carry out your deadly revenge, your life never remains the same again. Get rid of the bitterness brooding in your heart before it makes a demon out of you.

 

(4) Forgiveness is the secret of spiritual power. You have heard the famous quote: “To err is human, to forgive is divine.” In the spiritual world, the man who forgives is more powerful that the one who takes revenge. When Christ was being killed and hammered to a tree, He looked up to heaven and prayed for his killers: “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” When Nelson Mandela came out from prison, he left all the bitterness against his oppressors behind him in the prison. Today, Mandela is one of the greatest humans alive and the United Nations has set aside a day every year to honor him, because he dared to forgive. 

 

(5) Forgiveness is a key to achieving more, having more, being more. You cannot receive forgiveness unless you offer it. You cannot grow bigger than your heart. The more you forgive, the more you are forgiven. This is a magic key that gives you access to the riches of the universe.

 

Don’t Procrastinate, Do it Now!

Don’t ever die with unforgiveness in your heart. Don’t carry bitterness into the next world. That would be your worst tragedy. 

Reach out to someone you must forgive. Make peace with your spouse now. Pick up your phone; call your friends, in-laws, neighbours, co-workers, and make peace. Get the poison out of your system today. Don’t wait for people to ask for your forgiveness before you offer it. If you have offended someone and need their forgiveness, pick up your phone and call now. May God grant you peace.